Racing SUVs

SUVs are the most popular vehicles in the USA today, although $4 to $5 a gallon gas might kill American appetite for such gas guzzling machines. Strangely enough, although there are races for pretty much all type of road vehicles, from cars, to pick-up trucks, to tractor trailers, to grass mowers and motorcycles, there has never been a circuit race series for SUV’s. At least I have not seen one.

It would probably be a grand spectacle, with vehicles of all makes vying for honors. Fans would be able to root for their favorite SUV brand at Daytona, Watkins Glen, Laguna Seca and Talladega.

I guess most SUV drivers, who are quite used to drive their heavy vehicles at great pace, frequently ask: “Why is there no race series for my favorite mode of transportation?” After all, they feel like regular Jeff Gordons and Tony Stewarts using their powerful wheels to cut across regular cars, at great speed and abandon, at I95 and elsewhere.

Well SUV driver, do you know why there are no race series for SUVs? Due to their high center of gravity, all SUV’s are very unstable making turns in high speeds, and tend to roll over easily. This property is not exclusive to the Suzukis of the 80’s. All SUV’s suffer from the problem, it is inherent to the type of design. SUV’s ARE DANGEROUS AT GREAT SPEEDS!!!!!V-E-R-Y D-A-N-G-E-R-O-U-S.

Which means that when you are driving your SUV like a nut on the road, daydreaming you are Mario Andretti, you are no only placing your life and your kid’s life in danger, but also the lives of all drivers on the road who still drive ‘boring’, unfashionable cars. SUV’s should be driven at sedate pace, and turns, especially tight ones, should be made extremely carefully, at low speeds.

If you bought your SUV thinking it is a NASCAR racer, a high performance vehicle, you have been duped, dude. Easy on the accelerator. Let me drive by in my Mini-Cooper…

If you don’t believe me, read on


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